Dear Tom,
Watching you leaving that day, I suddenly felt grieved but relieved. Though things turned out to be so different from our original plans, I believe that’s the best ending for both of us.
I think a lot these days, about my life in the North, about those wrong behavior, about identities, about our relationship and future… the first mistake I made was that I did not tell the conductor the truth that I am not white. But I was just a child at that time, I just wanted to be treated better. However, things became out of my control later. Everyone assumed me as white and I did not have the courage to deny it. I always told myself that I never tried to pass off as a white girly, but as time passed by, I could no longer convince myself. I was afraid of being found out that I was not the”white girl” in your minds and lived in fear all day long, especially after I met you.
When you proposed to me, I was more frightened than delighted. Therefore, I ran back, witnessing the miserable life of black people here, just as it was many years ago. I wanted to escape. However, every time I saw my granny working hard for living, saw those little girls having no chance to get education, I felt I had the responsibility to make some changes for them, and myself. Miss Em and granny kept reminding me of “being who I am”, which led to the decisions I made—nursing Miss Em, suing Mrs Moley, opening the nursing school.
I was really thankful for all efforts you have paid for our future plans. But, my dear, no one can leave his family and culture behind to create a brand new life. Maybe that sounds plausible to you, but that sounds ridiculous to me. When I talked to you about “my people”, your answers had already informed me that it was impossible for us to live together for our whole life. I am proud of my race, I do not want to hide any more, I want to fight for my people.
Hopes everything goes well with you.
Yours, Pinky
Watching you leaving that day, I suddenly felt grieved but relieved. Though things turned out to be so different from our original plans, I believe that’s the best ending for both of us.
I think a lot these days, about my life in the North, about those wrong behavior, about identities, about our relationship and future… the first mistake I made was that I did not tell the conductor the truth that I am not white. But I was just a child at that time, I just wanted to be treated better. However, things became out of my control later. Everyone assumed me as white and I did not have the courage to deny it. I always told myself that I never tried to pass off as a white girly, but as time passed by, I could no longer convince myself. I was afraid of being found out that I was not the”white girl” in your minds and lived in fear all day long, especially after I met you.
When you proposed to me, I was more frightened than delighted. Therefore, I ran back, witnessing the miserable life of black people here, just as it was many years ago. I wanted to escape. However, every time I saw my granny working hard for living, saw those little girls having no chance to get education, I felt I had the responsibility to make some changes for them, and myself. Miss Em and granny kept reminding me of “being who I am”, which led to the decisions I made—nursing Miss Em, suing Mrs Moley, opening the nursing school.
I was really thankful for all efforts you have paid for our future plans. But, my dear, no one can leave his family and culture behind to create a brand new life. Maybe that sounds plausible to you, but that sounds ridiculous to me. When I talked to you about “my people”, your answers had already informed me that it was impossible for us to live together for our whole life. I am proud of my race, I do not want to hide any more, I want to fight for my people.
Hopes everything goes well with you.
Yours, Pinky
Comments
Post a Comment