Dear Helga

Dear Helga,

I was struck by your story that ended in misery. I remembered when you were a twenty-three-year-old teacher at Naxos, your passion for vivid colors and courage to criticize the school's hypocrisy brighten up every dull day.

Yet, I feel like you never know what you really want. Nearly all of your choices were based on scurried impulse rather than logical contemplation. You found yourself sick of the system at Naxos, so you left, with little future planning; you found yourself tired of the racial-conscious Harlem life, so you left, with little future planning; you found yourself fed up with the life in Denmark, so you left, with little future planning. And when you don't know what to do, you chose to just get married.

That is very likely the reason why I could not capture the essence of your story at the beginning. I understand your mixed feeling as a biracial women during a sensitive time period. It must be hard for you to find a sense of belonging in either community. You lived in a world, which forcibly impose the idea of black or white racial binary to everybody. I can feel the pressure you were going under in your everyday life. To be honest, I don't think myself can make any better choices than you did in this restless chaos.

As one of your candid listeners, however, I hope you look back into your life and ask yourself what do you really want. The social pressure is tremendous, yet it is ok to halt and think sometimes.

Sincerely,
Your listener

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