Dear Helga,
You are perpetually unhappy - this much is starkly apparent. Even when you do find happiness, you are restless and quickly dissatisfied. Forgive me if I assume, but to me, this unhappiness stems from your turbulent identity - you were unloved as a child and your mixed heritage prevents you from being fully accepted into either black or white society while you long to be a part of both and neither simultaneously, if that makes any logical sense. You’ve said that you long to be white, but that community refuses to accept you because of your darker skin, but when you are largely accepted into the Danish community (even if it is as some sort of exotic creature), you are homesick for Harlem. You speak of your “physical freedom” in Denmark and your “spiritual freedom” in America, and it is impossible to achieve both. You obviously recognize this dilemma, and speak of freedom as belonging to only yourself and not a race, but it is apparent that you are unable to separate the two.
Helga, I wish you all the happiness you could possibly achieve, and know that you are the sum of all your parts and so much more. You are more than what others define you as, and you are more than the depression and insecurity that so clearly plagues you.
Best wishes,

Lucy Sandeen

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