Dear Clare

Dear Clare,

Why did you fall? Was it an accident, as they claimed? Or in ‘Rene’s misremembering, did she omit her hand pushing you backwards? Or was the weight of being exposed too much to bear? I can imagine it must have been devastating to have the illusion you had built your identity and life around fall apart all at once. In the Notes section of the book, however, it shows that Macmillan later republished the story with a different ending paragraph that said “Let’s go up and have another look at that window”, suggesting that there was something suspicious in your death. Irene also “struggle[s] against the sob of thankfulness” and does not feel “sorry”, implying she might feel guilt for her actions and relief for the death of her friend. For these reasons, I find it difficult to believe you took your own life. Instead, was it an act of self-preservation by Irene? Right before your death, Irene stands by the window, smoking a cigarette; when she is done, she throws it out the window, “watching the tiny sparks drop slowly down to the white ground below”. This action foreshadows your death as Irene describes you as “a vital glowing thing, like a flame of red and gold”, before ‘falling’ out the window, similar to the cigarette. It is astonishing to think someone might murder another person to save a marriage, though the contents of the story remind me of The Great Gatsby. I am glad you no longer desperately have to hold on to your marriage and a life of fabrication and I hope you find peace.

Sincerely,

Sophie Devincenti