Day 5: Is there one true identity, and does it matter if there is?

The following is a letter written to Pinky Johnson, character in the film Pinky (1949).
Dear Ms. Johnson,

What your grandmother said — “When people are real friends, there ain’t no such thing as place.” — struck me.  This, at its surface, seems like a paradox, for while your grandmother suggests a friendship exists between her and Miss Em, “place” clearly expresses the former’s identity as a slave, and latter as master. I do not deny that coworkers can have an amicable relationship, but how is it possible that there can be true friendship between someone who tries to drain every inch of energy out of the other on a daily basis?

But well, who am I to judge what your grandmother believes? Similar to how some, if not most, we-believe-they-are-oppressed-because-they-need-to-wear-a-hijab women do not actually feel oppressed (one living in my house says she “likes” it), a disparity undeniably exists between one’s assessment of one’s identity (self-understanding) and society’s assessment (social perception). I see no possibility of genuine friendship, but she might hold this conviction to be true, and it may very well be. Although both versions of identity should be recognized, I am not so certain when it comes to whether they should be given equal weighting. After all, like some scholars who have argued that having an “identity” that is all-encompassing is quite meaningless, deeming the identity something that is never concrete or definite by recognizing the perpetual conflict between the self and social identity is not helpful.  Clearly, society will not be able to accept an individual as whoever he identifies as. Similarly, people cannot conform to whatever society fits them in.

Deciding which side’s story is more important may not even be relevant, for there is no central, objective authority in the determination of one’s identity.

Anyhow, these are just some of my reflections on my reaction to what your grandmother said. It was a thought-provoking movie.

Best wishes,

Karen

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